#2 Gandhi

Now hold on. I can sense disquiet. I can hear fizz of protein shake on keyboard as meat heads across the globe gasp in amazement.

How, you scream, can a cage fighting site bestow hero status on a scruffy weed who dedicated his life to spinning yarn, drinking his own piss and (gulp) non-violence?

There is method in our apparent madness. You see, Gandhi was pretty much the opposite of what we’d think of as hard man, but he faced violence everyday of his life. He understood violence as well as anyone ever has and knew how to overcome it. How to be a winner. 

I cannot teach you violence, as I do not myself believe in it. I can only teach you not to bow your heads before any one even at the cost of your life. (Gandhi) 

In Fight Club, Edward Norton says if he could fight a historical figure, he’d fight Gandhi. Good answer says Brad. Wrong. Bad answer. Very bad.

Gandhi feared nothing and no-one. If he saw trouble kicking off, he would confront those involved and offer to let them beat him up instead of each other. Usually, this would puzzle people so much they would lose the will to batter each other. His interventions made street scrappers feel just plain silly.

Imagine about the meanest fighter you’ve ever seen. He’s giving you the worst beating of your life. Every bone in your body aches, you’re bleeding, your head’s thumping and he’s standing over you with a killer’s grin. Gandhi did that every day. Only he was facing the might of the British Empire (for the benefit of younger readers, this was an organisation even more powerful and ruthless than the UFC). Imprisonment, beatings, starvation- whatever they threw at him, he would keep getting up. Kind of like a cross between Cool Hand Luke and a really feeble bag of bones with crap specs.

Unbeatable- except possibly on points.

It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honoured by the humiliation of their fellow beings. (Gandhi)

Triumphalism, arrogance, twatishness- whatever name you give it, it has the same effect.

Gandhi defeated the most powerful Empire in world history after a bitter campaign lasting many years. When the Union flag was lowered for the last time and India was granted independence, how do you think he reacted?

Did he pretend to dig the grave of the British Empire then theatrically jump up and down on it?

Did he appear on TV plastered in adverts and drinking a sponsored drink, name checking every company that helped his revolution?

Did he grab the MC’s microphone, call the badly injured British Empire a pussy who isn’t in his class and then mouth off about how he was too good for the assembled crowd to understand?

Did he slate the promoters of independence as pricks and say you wouldn’t see him in dumps like India anymore?

Of course he didn't.

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. (Gandhi)

Gandhi knew that it’s not the muscles that win fights. Sometimes it’s not even the brains and technique. When it’s on top, it’s all about the heart. Obviously, there are exceptions to this rule. You wouldn’t bet on Helen Keller to submit Ian Freeman or Stephen Hawking to drop the Ice Man, but you get the gist.

When restraint and courtesy are added to strength, the latter becomes irresistible. (Gandhi)

Take this to heart and you will become:

a better fighter

a better man/woman

a better driver/chef/binman/teacher/manager/copper

delete as applicable

Poverty is the worst form of violence (Gandhi)

Gandhi could see the bigger picture. Lack of bread and opportunities keep you down, not the stick. If you’re hungry enough you can always attack and take that from the Man.

Modern political leaders lack this sense of perspective. If Gandhi ran a council in 2007, he’d be concerned about getting decent housing, healthcare provision, jobs and leisure facilities for the people in his town. Once that was sorted he’d mend the roads and sort out the public transport. In short- he’d struggle eradicate the causes of poverty to enhance the lives of his people. He’d be putting his soul into the fight against real violence: that carried out against the vulnerable in society.

Gandhi would not waste his time banning MMA shows from his civic halls.

Gandhi would not puff himself up and appear on every media outlet that would have him giving ill informed views on something as trivial MMA in order to grab a some cheap headlines while there was one person living below the poverty line in the borough.

Gandhi would be in favour of something that made young people determined to better themselves through endeavour. Given the choice between being a two bob rentaquote council hypocrite or a martial artist, Gandi would cast off his cloth, don a pair of Tapout shorts, climb in the cage, bang his chest like a silverback, let out an ear splitting roar then take on all comers with his secretly honed leg lock techniques. (probably)

Gandhi- Visionary - Quiet tough guy – Bloke worth listening to

Gandhi- hurtbusiness hero.

More Gandhi wisdom

It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence.

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

Glory lies in the attempt to reach one's goal and not in reaching it.

Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty; it is its own reward. Everything else is in God's hands.

It is any day better to stand erect with a broken and bandaged head then to crawl on one's belly, in order to be able to save one's head.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory.

Self-respect knows no considerations.

The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated.

Reporter: "Mr. Gandhi, what do you think of Western civilization?"
Gandhi: "I think it would be a very good idea."