Time for Heroes

by Byron Wicker

March 4^th, Wolverhampton Civic Hall: Cage Warriors Showdown 3. A real landmark event in the progression of Mixed Martial Arts in the UK. Cage Warriors have a history of putting together great shows, but this time they’d gone the extra yard. Returning to top the bill was Jeff Monson. Sure he’s been over before; this time was different though. This time he was coming over on the back of a headlining UFC Heavyweight title bid. For me, this signalled a massive leap forward for UK MMA promotions. A strong bill from home and abroad featuring a bona fide superstar of the sport. We’re not talking about a hotly tipped youngster or hasbeens more famous for their bellies or weird tatt’s. Monson is the real deal.

So: magic home grown line up + a visiting giant to pull in newbies =  happy days. Add to this mix the venue. Wolves Civic is in a central location and there isn’t a bad seat in the house. It would be an ideal place to build a strong following over a number of events. For me, this looked like the event to kick start the development of MMA as a mainstream sport in the UK. What could possibly go wrong?

down in albion

The event never happened. According to the statement released by Cage Warriors;  all the prep was going swimmingly with the venue until late in the day when the council overlords put the arm on the management and told them to pull the show. Cage Warriors claim that the council referred to MMA as "Caged Boxing"  and said that our sport is "More dangerous than Boxing". Straight from the horses mouth, it was even more depressing. Civic spokeswoman Crissie Rushton said bosses axed the event after making inquiries into the sport. Exactly what these inquiries were is anyone’s guess, although they can’t have included watching the MMA fights the same venue had staged last year as part of the Road to Tokyo bill. Such inquiries would have told them that MMA can be an well run and exciting spectacle.

Ms Rushton went on to tell the local rag: “We had reservations about it from the start because it was a controversial thing to host. We have done a bit of research and found it’s not appropriate for our venue.”

This little gem of straight-bat blandspeak begs a number of questions. First up: What is appropriate for the Wolves Civic? Luckily, I’m in pole position to answer that as I’ve attended two events at the hall in the last twelve months- a Babyshambles gig and the Muay Thai Super Fights show.

The former are Pete Doherty’s band. If the Civic had ‘done a bit of research’ into them (ie: read any paper in the last year), they would know that Mr Doherty is Britain’s favourite heroin abuser. The evening consisted of the band giving shambolic renditions of their songs in celebration of living la vida junkie. After running through their repertoire, the audience joined in with a singalong to the nihilistic anthem ‘Fuck Forever’. Don’t get me wrong, it was a great night out and Pete Doherty has got talent (although, as he is smacked up to the eyeballs 24/7 and shagging Kate Moss, he probably isn't be too concerned either way what the hurtbusiness thinks of him). What I don’t get is how Wolverhampton council can hope to take a moralistic stance when they put on a guy who is famous mainly for jacking up unconscious groupies and wearing a hat with a hole in it. Are they seriously suggesting that putting on a Babyshambles gig is a more appropriate use of civic space than a combat sports event? Is this the example they want to set for Wolves youth?

Muay Thai Super Fights was also deemed appropriate. The cream of UK Thai Boxing on a card topped by Peter Crooke’s farewell fight against Thai legend Sakmongkol. A host of full rules fights- elbows, knees and even a head kick knockout. A beautiful night of hurt. How can this be appropriate when an MMA show is too hot to handle? The fact is, saying something is appropriate for a council venue is meaningless. Appropriate is a catch all word that can be hidden behind as it is impossible to challenge.

The key word from the Civic spokeswoman is controversial. Rebellious rock n roll bands on a scuzzy tip are something we are used to and accept. Ditto, Muay Thai is an established (and criminally underrated) sport.  Mixed Martial Arts is a sport which is not yet fully understood by the general public. Misinformation, confusion and, it has to be said, some questionable marketing mean that it has not been embraced by many as a genuine sport. This spells trouble for everyone involved in MMA. To explain why, let me take you for a little wander down Memory Straβe.

up the bracket

France 1940. Rugby League is the hot new sport. Rugby Union’s reputation is in the toilet after a spate of deaths. Despite a dirty tricks campaign by the French Rugby Union, the public are deserting in their droves in favour of the new code, which is seen as more dynamic. (Feel free to buzz in as soon as you recognize any similarities with UK 2007).

The Nazis invade and France is ruled by the puppet regime in Vichy. The Vichy government had some full-on Nazis, but most collaborated as a result of fear or opportunism. They were all very keen to please the Germans. The Nazis weren’t keen on professionalism. Vichy banned Rugby League to ingratiate themselves with their masters. Not only pro RL, but everything, right down to the juniors. In that climate, it seemed like the 'right' thing to do. You can't be too careful when you're a tin-pot pretend government. With the FRU whispering black propaganda in their ear, Vichy denounced Rugby League as a subversive force, imported from abroad. The Rugby Union drove home their advantage and re-established their game. So complete was the suppression of Rugby League that, even after the war, it was not legally allowed to use the word rugby until 26 June 1991, having to use the name Jeu à Treize (Game of Thirteen) instead. An exciting new sport, strangled at birth by a coalition of timid bureaucrats and people covering their own backs.

Godwin’s Law states that anyone who refers to the Nazis in an argument has automatically lost by virtue of going over the top. To clarify, I am not suggesting that Wolverhampton council are the Nazis. For a start, the Nazis had way cooler outfits. As PJ O’Rourke said: no woman ever fantasized about being thrown on a bed and ravished by a guy in a liberal uniform. No, Wolverhampton council are cast in the role of Vichy. Poor, faceless pen-pushers who will do any thing to make sure the boat does not rock. Anything that is new or out of the ordinary is to be avoided. Staging a gig or a boxing match is not controversial. Staging an MMA card is (At least that’s what the boxing promoters tell them and the local rag).

The boxing fraternity are playing a very dangerous supporting role. They may not have been involved in the Wolverhampton fiasco, but their apparently concerted campaign against MMA has been cranked up. A number of high profile boxing figures have been publicly bad mouthing MMA. A feature of their attacks has been calling into question the safety of MMA and suggesting it is brutal in comparison to the Sweet Science. The sad thing is; these people know their onions. They are fight people and understand the ins and outs of the hurtbusiness. As they are talking unadulterated bollocks, you have to suspect they are deliberately trying to destroy a rival. Allying themselves with the forces who have been trying to close them down for years looks a poor tactical move to my eyes. "We're brutal but these new kids are worse". Can't they see that they are digging their own grave every time they lash out at MMA. No mark local politicians won't stop cleansing their boroughs when the cages are gone. Next will be the boxing rings; maybe even the Judo mats.

The simple fact is, MMA is out of step with the spirit of our age. Our occupying power is risk aversion. Our society is not dedicated to pushing the limits. Rather, we are obsessed with making sure no one gets hurt or even offended. The Olympic movement was born out of the thrusting optimism of the late Victorian age with the motto: Citius, Altius, Fortius (Swifter, Higher, Stronger). The motto of the UK in 2007 should be :”Ooh, we don’t want any fuss”. The sporting landscape reflects this.

Football dominates as it is tailor made for our insipid culture. The same, familiar corporate names at the top of the tree. Any new kids on the block either have their playing assets stripped or get the wrong end of refereeing decisions. Like all team games, football is a metaphor for invasion and violence. Unlike real fighting, the conduct of the players is abysmal. Every decision is contested, the slightest contact is exaggerated in the hope of getting an opponent into trouble with the authorities. Taking a dive is seen as the right thing to do. It is a masterclass in deceit, grassing and doing your fellow man down. The worst thing is, you can’t help getting drawn into it. The wall to wall coverage makes even relatively sensible people toss around the word disgraceful when discussing bits of pushing and shoving.

Let’s play a game. You are the council official. A promoter wants to put on a Mixed Martial Arts show in your hall. The way things are, what would you do? Well first you have to carry out a risk assessment. In a municipal office, you have to carry out a risk assessment before you wipe your arse. Everything comes back fine and dandy, but why bother. You can stick on a band or one of those nice boxing nights. That way you’re not going to get the papers calling you or the people upstairs quizzing you. In 2007, taking even a minimal risk is seen as a negative so we stick with what we’ve got. The safe option. If MMA shows required one percent of the policing that matches in the super shiny Premier League do, it would almost be excusable.

Full contact combat sports are all about taking responsibility for your own actions. Cometh the time, you have no-one to blame but yourself. Any excuse trotted out by a fighter is in one ear, out the other. You fought, you got beaten up; deal with it. In the outside world, nobody takes responsibility for themselves anymore. They are fat because of adverts. Their kids are not thick, they have bad teachers and/or a made up learning difficulty. They are in prison because no one would help them so they had to go out mugging. The only martial artist we see on mainstream TV is the slapper who advertises Injurylawyers4u. (This is not a sexist comment. Check the way she slaps the heavy bag. She should sue her trainer.) Where there’s a blame there’s a claim. In MMA, people get hurt. Almost never seriously, but unless I’m way off, it is the hurtbusiness. In the current climate, this shocks people. The media bombards us with orders to be scared of our own shadows, so the thought of actual violence is beyond the ken of many. What we accept, others fear; so an MMA show must look like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Remember, the council are deluged with claims from dozy turds who shuffle along and break their toenails on uneven paving stones. They work in an environment where no one wants to take responsibility for claims by chancers who can’t look after themselves.

In a world where coffee cups carry warnings telling us they contain hot liquid, is there really a place for Mixed Martial Arts?

time for heroes

Brothers and Sisters, we are part of the resistance movement. By this, I don’t mean that we go around tying piano wire between lampposts to decapitate members of Wolverhampton council going about their business on motorbikes. Anyone involved in MMA, whether as a fighter, promoter or fan, is out of time with modern, British society. You dance to a different beat. You are not normal and you should be proud. Mixed Martial Arts emphasises the importance of hard work, respect and discipline (I was going to say clean living as well, but I knew I’d lose a hefty portion of the audience). The press and politicians bleat about the lack of these qualities in society then turn their guns on a sport which demands them. Increasing numbers of people are getting involved in Mixed Martial Arts because they see it as a real alternative to the current crop of popular sports. In many ways, it represents a throwback to the Olympian ideals.

MMA will grow and prosper because it is worth fighting for.